Your job as a storyteller is to create IMAGES. This is true not just for screenwriters, but for anyone presenting a story to a reader or an audience.
Whenever we read a novel or hear a speech or see a story as part of a marketing email, we immediately picture what is happening. It is your responsibility to make your characters, your settings and the action of your stories come to life clearly and vividly.
The most common weakness of character descriptions I read or hear is that they generalize. The details are broad, vague or not visual at all. They neither create a specific image, nor do they reveal anything important or emotionally involving about the character.
When you define your character only by their function – a boss, a mother, a teenager, a customer – that person is hard to picture and hard to care about. The same holds true when the description is a summary – giving us a character’s personality or conflict or need with no visible evidence, and nothing to allow your reader or audience to draw their own conclusions. It may be true that your character is “the hero’s sister-in-law” or “mean and vindictive” or “a loser” or “my son” or “from Macon, Georgia”, but none of those statements will draw us to the character, or your story. (And if you’re a screenwriter, you must omit such descriptions altogether – you can only write what the audience will see and hear on the screen.)
Sometimes storytellers provide visible descriptions that create an image, but the details are unimportant to the story and reveal nothing of what’s inside the character. I’ve read countless screenplays which introduce characters in this way: “JOHN, 29, tall and thin,” or “MARY (mid 40’s) an attractive brunette.” As you read those two descriptions, did you get any kind of clear image of John or Mary? Neither will your reader or your audience.
Your goal must be to reveal two or three clear, succinct and vivid details that create a picture in the minds of your reader or audience, and that convey something of the essence of that character. Your focus should be on three things:
- What a person wears reveals far more about her than her height, build and age. Imagine reading about a woman whose Salvation Army dress was crisply ironed, and whose perfectly polished shoes hid the holes in their soles. Not only would you be able to picture the character, you would immediately know that she was desperate to hide the fact that she had fallen on hard times.
- Telling us a first person story about how you once “got angry” will make your speech vague and uninvolving. Instead describe how, as you waited endlessly in line for your prescription at CVS, your jaw bulged as your teeth began to clench and your face grew increasingly red. Now your audience will imagine they’re in line with you.
- How would your character enter a room full of people? Burst through the door followed by his entourage? Stick his head in and scan the crowd before quietly sliding behind a potted plant? Stagger in, shirt untucked, before colliding with a waiter? Each of these is more visual, and more revealing, than the word “enter.”
Consider the following example:
[script]A seven-year-old girl sits watching [a beauty pageant] intently. She is big for her age and slightly plump. She has frizzy hair and wears black-rimmed glasses. She studies the show very earnestly. Then, using a remote, she freezes the image. Absently, she holds up one hand and mimics the waving style of Miss America. She rewinds the tape and starts all over again.[/script]
Even if you haven’t seen LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (and if you haven’t, why not?! It’s a terrific movie!), I’m guessing that screenwriter Michael Arndt’s description of Olive gave you a very vivid image of the character. And notice how her black-rimmed glasses, intent expression and mimicking wave tell us volumes about her beyond just her appearance. We know what she longs for, how determined she is, and how out of reach her dream seems to be for her.
Reveal just two or three carefully chosen details when introducing a character. That character will come alive for your readers and audiences, and they’ll be emotionally hooked into your story.
Michael,
Thanks for the great article. The examples helped to drive the points home. You’ve had a tremendous impact on how I tell my stories. My audiences and I thank you!
Dan
Such small changes can make such a huge difference in your story.
And these “weakness of character descriptions” are indeed so common
that we take them for granted and just live with them. But they do bring
your stories to life. Although my story-telling is limited to my marketing
messages and not novels or screen writing, the principle of winning
attention and engagement remains the same.
Thanks Mr. Hauge for this article it is (for me) one of the hardest part of screenwriting, character description and location description. Finding the right words is extremely hard. I wish I was an interior designer (or i should start reading home & garden magazine?) I don’t know. But I’ll work on this really hard as I proof-read. Thanks again for your time and right on target advice. Jorge
Jorge – Thanks for both your kind comments today. Your generosity means a lot. As for description, I don’t think it’s so much a matter of finding the right word as finding the right DETAILS to reveal. And that almost always comes down to character – the better you know your characters, the easier it will be to picture what they wear, how they move, where they live and work, or where would they feel most happy, frightened, despondent or anxious. As you imagine those images in your mind, as yourself what pops out – what would catch your attention if you were really there? Then simple name those items or actions. As with any aspect of storytelling (or anything else for that matter), the more you do it, the more familiar it will be, and the less a source of concern. Hope that helps.
What i took from your article is that the detail you choose to focus on has to reveal something important about the character, not just any detail will do. Thank you!
Mr Hague
I was first introduced to your work by Patricia Fripp. It’s been very helpful in my speaking and speech coaching. This article takes my understanding to a deeper level. I’m working on a story in which I describe standing in an empty apartment after my divorce/bankruptcy. Now, I’ll describe the dimly-lit, empty apartment with the clean but worn out carpet, and the thundering sound of children running in the apartment above mine.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom.
Terrific. What’s good about your description is not simply that it’s vivid, or even sad, but that it emphasizes what’s missing – from the setting and from the existence you were facing at the time: nothing new, not enough light, and walled off from life. And please tell Patricia thanks for connecting us.
– Michael
Thanks Michael. You read even more into it than I intended, and you’re correct – that is exactly how I felt. I’m channeling your insight and didn’t even realize it! You ARE a great teacher!
I will see Patricia later this month at Lady and the Champs and will pass on your thanks.
Michael – then come up and say hi. I will also be at Lady and the Champs, and speaking there the day before at the Edge Summit.
Dear Michael…
I ‘ve always had a passion for writing . I have written different scripts by earning all: structure , character and development, through books .
Today, for the first time, I find you on youtube. Sorry for the delay after so many years as a professional that you have had .
I write stories recount and / or describe the past. Some are interesting and captivating other opposite. So I feel the need to bring to light what I write.
Any advise?
I have a small script of 40 pages , how much would cost me a total and complete review of it.
Sincerely greetings,
Ivan Alexei
Michael
Some possible conference in Miami, soon?
Regards,
Ivan Alexei
Mr. Hauge,
I want to thank you for teaching me how to be a good screenwriter without paying a dime so far. It’s true that anyone can learn to be an effective storyteller by simply reading valuable information free of charge on your web site. Before I write my first screenplay, I have studied the wealth of free information on storymastery.com.
When I finish the script, I’ll prefer to do business with the master of storytelling. I have become a better screenwriter thanks to your generosity and look forward to becoming your client.
Sincerely,
Lola Jackson
Hi Micheal.
I have read some of your stuff and its mind blowing beautiful.Im new to scriptwriting.Im still learning but I know someday I will be a good writer and i believe in my self that one day my scripts will be made into movies.
Thanks alot for your input
Melvin.
Japan
Melvin-
Thanks for those kind words. Good luck with your new adventure, and enjoy the journey!
– Michael
Thanks a lot Michael, I have started writing my tv series before reading any of your articles though, and I have been doing the correct thing. But, I still have to give credit to you for emphasizing the right thing to do, I still have to read more and get more inspirations from you. Thanks a lot
Mr. Hauge,
Is it “ever” ok to use personality traits like abrasive or greedy in describing a character?
Thank you very much for this items. Usually I have problems with creating the character of the characters. But I learned something new and I’m glad that I’m part of the group, will learn a lot about writing screenplays.
I am sorry for mistakes in writing but do not know the English language well.
Have you ever considered creating an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
I have a blog centered on the same information you discuss and would really
like to have you share some stories/information. I know my
audience would enjoy your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free
to shoot me an e mail.
This is so awesome.
It really helps us to learn so much about how to create good characters.
great information Michael. I’m rewriting some dialogue in a third draft and your article sent me back to see if I can add a few of your suggestions to make the piece even better.
You’re also not writing a book… don’t want to get too discritpive or it will seem drawn out.
Quick question. If you have a character who is off screen and is speaking for the first few pages. Do you write a character description for them? Thank you
Hello Michael, my name is Abrefah from Ghana. I have some great passion for screenwriting and story telling since childhood and I’m hoping to be the best writer one day every where I find myself. I have started writing my story for some series I want to hit the screen and I will soon start the script for the pilot and other episodes. Thank you so much for your coaching, you been saying almost same as what I read from other sources. I’m most grateful.
Thank you thank you kind , compassionate giving sir .
It is wonderful getting useful information without a $ tag attached to it
Back to my script.
Annette ❤️